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Once upon a time, this never happened
You have to write your own happy ending
[Final Fantasy X] Sunrise 
23rd-Jan-2007 07:32 pm
Fallen leaves
Title: Sunrise
Rating: G
Word Count: 100 exactly (HA I WIN!)
Characters: Kinoc, Auron, Jecht
Notes: For ff_100's "Old wounds" challenge, inspired to some extent by fanfic100's "Sunrise" challenge.

Kinoc whistled appreciatively, and Auron managed not to wince. “Beautiful Auron, beautiful. It looks like a sunrise all over your face.”

Auron graced him with a glare that had in the past frozen fiends to the spot, although the effect was dampened by the fading-but-still-beautiful bruises swelling around his eye: yellow, purple-red, and even a hint of blue. Kinoc just grinned.

“What sort of fiend was it? I’m here with some troops, so if you want, we could –“

“I dealt with it.”

“So I’m a fiend now?” Jecht asked, limping up once Kinoc had moved on.

“Don’t flatter yourself.”

I'm sure they must have run into Kinoc at least ONCE during their pilgrimage. Let me have my little crack moments.
24th-Jan-2007 01:39 am (UTC)
Hee. Such adorable wit! Jecht, Auron and Kinoc all in a hundred words. I squee all over you now.
24th-Jan-2007 02:36 pm (UTC)
Err! I missed the link and replied to you instead of the post itself. Sorry! Reposted my comment in the right spot now >.>
24th-Jan-2007 08:46 pm (UTC)
Thank you! ^__^ *is squee-ed over, and perfectly happy to sit and &heart; at you for the nice comment*
24th-Jan-2007 02:36 pm (UTC)
I admit it, this made me smile. It was funny, it captured the characters so well, and you have my personal Drabble Win Award for actually doing an exact 100-word one.

I love how characteristically grumpy Auron is, I love the tiny bit of interaction with Jecht that manages to capture them both so well. It's a cute little idea, executed so well.

If you don't mind, though, a couple tiny criticisms?

a glare that had in the past frozen fiends to the spot

I'm pretty sure the usual expression is "on the spot", though "in their tracks" might also work here. It's an idiom, though, so not really my call!

the fading-but-still-beautiful bruises swelling around his eye; yellow, purple-red, and even a hint of blue

Teeny punctuation suggestion: change the semicolon to a colon. The last bit of the sentence feels like a description of or elaboration on the bit immediately preceding it. This seems like the ideal situation for a colon, and it would help change the pace late in a sentence that's a touch on the long side.

These are a couple just really minor things that are even pretty subjective. Overall I enjoyed this very much! Thanks for entering the challenge =D
25th-Jan-2007 06:35 pm (UTC)
Thank you very much! I'm glad you liked it! =D I'll put money on my never being able to hit 100 words again though, so I'll enjoy the Drabble Win Award while I have it. XD

Criticism is fine! I appreciate it actually - I don't usually have many people telling me where I went wrong or how to fix it. ^_^

I'll agree with you on the colon thing - my grasp of grammar is shaky at best, and from your explanation (which is absolutely right), it seems I got the wrong punctuation. Thanks for pointing it out! I have to disagree with you on "to the spot" though - where I live, it's a pretty common thing, so I thought everyone would know what I meant. ^^; (What I was thinking of was Auron's Threaten move. I swear this game is just eating my brain.)

Um... I apologise for the fact that my reply's longer than the drabble itself?
25th-Jan-2007 06:48 pm (UTC)
I'm glad that giving criticism was okay -- not everyone responds to it well, so I'm glad I didn't step on all your toes at once there ^^;

As far as "to the spot" goes, it's an expression and thus very prone to dialect variation, so if that sounds right for where you live, go for it. Like I said, it's not really my call =)

Thanks again for this wonderful little drabble, and good luck with hitting the hundred again! I hope you participate at ff_100 in the future, as I look forward to hearing from you again.

And yes, I remember Threaten. Possibly because I had Auron out all the time >.>

Also, pish posh on comments being longer than drabbles =P
25th-Jan-2007 10:44 pm (UTC)
Oh, very nice. :) And well done on getting one hundred words exactly - that's hard. You managed to convey a lot in so little space, which is how a drabble should be.
1st-Feb-2007 06:12 pm (UTC)
Thank you very much! (Amen to 100 words being hard - I never get it first time.)
4th-Feb-2007 01:16 am (UTC)
This is so great! I can just see the look on Auron's face -- and Jecht's. Sorry I didn't review earlier!
11th-Feb-2007 10:25 am (UTC)
Whee for late comments! Worst moderator ever! I think I probably win the award.

This is so amazing. You have written exactly the sort of drabbles I love, with the little surprise at the end, and even in 100 words. And anything that has Auron and Kinoc interaction is totally a win for me! Bonus Jecht, too!

I'm so glad you entered the challenge! I hope you write for ff_100 again in the future. :D
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